Only she will see you at your best. Only she will see you laugh hysterically at something no one else would laugh at and, in turn laugh with you, simply because you are both just plain happy. Only she will see you share a bite of everything on your plate, even though she has the exact same thing on her plate. (Because yours is better, of course.) Only she will see you dance around, make ridiculous faces, and act "her age", because it makes her smile.
Only she will see you at your worst. Only she will see you lose your temper and the tears roll down your cheeks as you hold her and apologize. Only she will hug you back, never saying a word, just silently understanding that you love her to the moon and back.
Only she will wonder why your eyes aren't dry, even when you are laughing. She doesn't yet understand how bittersweet these moments are; how fleeting they are. She'll wonder why you hold her so long before you lay her down to sleep. She wonder why you ask for 1,000 hugs a day and kiss her squishy cheeks every chance you get. She doesn't know that everyday you know that tomorrow, she will be a little bit older, a little more independent, and a little bit closer to being a "big girl"... a teenager... an adult. She doesn't know that even though you are holding her hand and cheering her on for every step she takes in that direction, your heart hurts longing for the clock to slow down and make the days and years just a little bit longer.
Only she, because the moments shared with others are the good times and the edited versions of the hard times... you will tell stories of her new words and accomplishments, her silly actions and exciting news. Your family and closest friends may hear a little more, but only she will know it all. Her version is uncut, uncensored, and purely truth.
Everyday is a new page in her book and for now, you are the author. One day, you will blink, and she will be writing her own story. I look at my daughter and I try everyday to see more smiles than tears. (At 1½, sometimes the wall looks at her the wrong way and her feelings are hurt, but we try. ;) ) There is a tremendous learning curve with parenting and for a while, I asked too many questions, asked for too much advice, from far too many people. Now, I am confident that God made me LJ's mommy because He knew I was made for the job. I make mistakes... and she sees that. BUT, I also make great choices, and she sees that too. We are learning and growing together and I love that.
The truth about motherhood is that there is not a blanket statement, quote, or piece of advice that works for everyone. The truth about motherhood is that every mother is doing their best to do what is best for their kid(s). The truth about motherhood is that we could all write a book and while they would all be completely different, they would all have the same subtitle: I love you kiddo, and we are learning as we go. ♥
Love this! You are a wonderful Mother.
ReplyDeleteLove this! You are a wonderful Mother.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mama!
DeleteLove this, agree 100%!!
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